I’m an organizer.
I enjoy shopping for school supplies, keeping my desk clear, and labeling files. These habits help me manage a busy household calendar and plan events—if you need someone to see the big picture and fill in the details, I’m the person for the job.
But there’s a flip side. Behind these strengths is a deep need for order. When my color-coded calendar is taken away or plans change unexpectedly, I get nervous. Life without clear boundaries can feel unsettling.
The truth?
I’m a controller.
This past year brought many uncertainties for our family: job changes, children with serious behavior challenges, parents with health issues, and teenagers facing big decisions. If you face similar trials, you know how suffocating it can feel when things spin beyond your control.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
God made me as I am. I need to let Him work in me and soften my edges.
Being organized, efficient, and capable of leadership isn’t wrong—those are gifts. What needs to happen is allowing God to use difficult circumstances to shape me into who He wants me to be, not to erase what He has given.
Recently I flew to Illinois to help care for my mom after surgery. The travel day became a perfect example of how plans can unravel. My first flight was canceled because of a storm, which caused me to miss my connecting flight. There wasn’t space on the next flights, so I was rerouted through another city. Meanwhile my credit card was compromised and had to be shut down, and my luggage didn’t arrive.
During the final flight, I looked out the window and saw this:
View out my window flying to Illinois
As the sunset unfolded at eye level outside my window, Psalm 30 came to mind:
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;
you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.Psalm 30:1-5
When my brother picked me up at the airport he observed, “You seem amazingly calm on this trip, all things considered. Where are your detailed plans?”
That question prompted a reminder I want to share: when stress arises, let’s STOP and pray. Let’s let God soften our edges. If your instinct is to rush in and fix everything, ask what God might be calling you to do instead. If you tend to freeze, perhaps you are being called to act. If you withdraw, maybe this is a time to reach out. If you typically do everything alone, maybe you’re meant to accept help.
Trust that God will guide you through uncertainty and use difficult moments to shape your character rather than simply disrupt your routine.
And yes—one last practical concern: do you think God will let me keep my color-coded file folders?
How do you respond to stress? Do you become more organized, freeze, or withdraw? How might God be calling you to soften your edges?